Why Family Sucks Donkey Balls

06/23/2010 09:23

I married into a tight family. My sister in-law and family are downstairs, mother in law next door. We split utility bills with downstairs, but when the water bill was high I get blamed for it. I am often blamed for things and complained about. They complain about my footsteps, the way I walk is wrong and too loud, where I park is wrong, my general living noises are too much… I don't even do loud music or TV. They complain about my daughter’s footsteps too, and the sounds of her playing, and they have kids. I am always being complained about but no one has ever come to me with any of these problems. They go to my husband and come between us causing problems in our relationship. I can’t take it. It hurts me. I am hurting. I just want them to except me to like me. Going nuts. -- Kendra 

 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear Kendra:

My answer?

MOVE OUT.                                             

                                            

                                                 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                            

                            

    

                                   
 
                                     

      

 

                      

    

 

 

 

  

  

  

Dear Kendra:

These are the types of issues when I wish we were chatting it up in a café because I have so many questions. For instance, was it always like this? Did they always complain? If so, they might not like you, as I suspect you fear. But perhaps they complain about everyone and everybody? Maybe they’re just busy hens who have yet to figure out how to push the chicks out of the nest so they learn to fly. Maybe it’s part of their culture to be that way (and yes, it is part of some culture’s to nitpick). Or perhaps something went down that would cause them to be particularly focused on your wrong doings? Is there really more to the story - like you started static after you called his mom a witch? Or you’re pounding the floors high on ecstasy at 4 in the morning? And what does your husband do when they complain to him?

(sighs) Since I don’t have these details, I can only say two things which, depending on culture, may not in the end be appropriate.

First, move. I understand finances are a bear these days, but getting a place even a few miles down the road would help your marriage 10-fold. And if you two really love each other, the sanity of your marriage might be worth the extra struggle.

Second, tell your man to grow a set. When he married you, you became a part of the flock. If you’re hurting and they keep going to him, he needs to man up and settle those chickadees down. If he won’t, I’d start thinking about finding myself another rooster.

                 

 

                          

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