The Phantom Boyfriend

09/23/2009 11:06

So I met this guy about two years ago at work. We started hanging out, but he had a girlfriend. He quit his job, then they broke up and one night he told me he really liked me and wanted to see where things could go between us. And i never heard from him again for six months when he came back to work. He apologized, said he never meant to hurt me and he was "figuring things out." So we start hanging out again. And again he says he really likes me - we even went on vacation together where he said he "has a lot of love for me." He says when we get back home we are gonna work on getting closer. But he never calls, never answers my calls and never calls back. When I ask him about it he says he never gets my calls. But when we work together he still acts like he wants to be with me. I have brought all this up to him and he tells me I need to open up and let him know how I really feel. But I know he knows how I feel about him, I have told him many times. He is supposed to be moving out of state soon, and I don’t know if I should try harder for him or just forget about it. Because I really do like him, and I believe that he likes me too. Ii just am so confused by what he says and what he actually does. And I am getting really lonely waiting for him to make a decision. – Lonely Girl

 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear Lonely:                        

Am I missing something? You like this guy, he likes you, but he doesn't call, write, hang out, nothing. And you're wondering what to do. I'll tell you something my therapist told me 19 years ago: "People only do what they want to do." So if he's not calling you, not writing, not hanging out, not doing anything ... well, I'd say to you, "Why are you wasting your time?" Let him move out of the state. Stop clinging. There's nothing a guy (or girl) hates worse than clinging.











Dear Lonely:

It’s called getting’ played.

He knows you’re into him, and he knows you’ll be there when he calls. We’ve said it once if we’ve said it a million times, men who dig girls don’t fall of the face of the earth for months at a time. If he was really into you, you’d be the one explaining why you didn’t call him back, because the boy would be calling you like crazy.

And moving out of state? Girl, that's the oldest trick in the book.

Him: "I'm moving to...Yemin."

Her: "Oh my god, we should have sex so you don't forget me!"

Him: (taking off pants) "I don't know..."

Stop being a chump. Forget it. Move on. And don’t ever let a man take advantage of your heart like that again.                                 






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