Silence is a Sham

12/30/2009 10:43

Okay so me and this guy like each other a lot. And we used to talk so much and everything. But he rarely opens up because he is afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone else, so just when he starts to open, he closes right back up again. It's so hard and it's really upsetting me. He says he still likes me and that when he likes someone he pushes them away. He is pushing me away and it really hurts. I told him that I cared and he didn't believe me. Then he started ignoring my texts. Then hours later in the middle of the night he started texting me like nothing ever happened...I acted like nothing happened too. But out of nowhere I got a little frustrated and said you're really confusing me. Then he didn't answer. So the next day I texted him asking him why he did all that yesterday and all he said was I don't know. I just really don't understand how he likes me, but he is pushing away like this. I haven't talked to him in probably 3 days maybe? And I really want to make this work. I just don't know what to do. Help? Thanks.

- Cecilia

 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear Cecilia:

Dear God. This is too much effort. No pre-marital relationship should require this much work and constant digging for the truth to someone's feelings. He's either a really closed up introvert who only wants to communicate through smoke signals or he just doesn't care about you.

                                   
 
                                     

      

                      

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

  

Dear Cecilia:

Really? 

My dear, he is not afraid of pain, heart or otherwise…though he should be afraid of you kickin’ his sorry ass for being so lame. That whole hurt thing is just what guys say when they’re stringing you along to see if they want to keep dating you. It’s a SHAM. The only guys that don’t open up after they already know you dig them for fear of getting hurt are…well, NON-EXISTANT.  It just doesn’t happen. If a guy who digs you knows you dig him, then he’ll be like you like eyeliner on a goth. If he knows you’re into him and he’s still making excuses about guarding his heart or being careful “not to get hurt,” he’s got one foot out the door waiting for someone better.

Look, I have this friend who actually tells women he doesn’t want to be in a long-term relationship because he’s just not relationship material and every single chick – EVERY ONE - he’s with stays thinking, “I’ll fix him and his broken heart.”  Well no, they won’t. Because the only one who can fix him is him and he won’t be doing that until, possibly, a near death experience or some soul-finding mission to Nepal.

Basically, this dude is giving you the runaround. You’d be best served jetting away for the hot mess that is your relationship.  Because the only one who will be getting hurt when all this is said and done is you, and he’ll be busy spinning his little tale of sorrow to some other little tail tomorrow.

                 

 

                          

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