I Might Have Liked You Better If We'd Slept Together

09/21/2009 13:38

I have this friend who has a younger sister. I am 23 and the younger sister is 17. I have never had any feelings for someone that young before, but there's just something about her. We share a lot in common and think a lot alike. I told her about the feelings I had for her and she told me that she is sorry but she can't share the same feelings I have for her, and that she only likes me like a friend, and sees me more like a brother than anything else, because I'm her sisters friend. I told her that I didn't want my feelings that I had for her to affect our friendship, but I feel that it has because she acts more differently now, than she did before. she don't smile as often and doesn't look at me as often, and when she does it seems like she's mad or disgusted with me. Whenever I'm around her it feels like there's not much of a connection between us as friends or anything. She also don't reply to my texts all that much either. I really need her friendship. What can I do to regain our relationship as friends that we once shared before I had disclosed my feelings for her? -- Ervey

 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear Ervey:           

She won't reply to your texts, looks at you with disgust and has receded from your friendship? She doesn't want to be nice to you because she thinks you'll think that she likes you. She's uncomfortable because she doesn't feel the same way toward you so she's trying to turn you off by acting like a bitch. Women do this all the time.

I don't know if you CAN salvage the friendship. I think it's pretty much kaput and you should give it up. Don't try to push this - she'll get more pissed off.                                        




























Dear Ervey:

When you were little, did you ever have a toy, like a Wolverine action figure, that you really, really dug? And you’d play with it for hours on end. Maybe you had a pencil or a notebook with him on it, and you’d sit up at night and talk about everything and everyone? The two of you were BFFs ‘til the end! But then one day you found Optimus Prime and you wanted to hang with him for a while. After all, with Wolverine you were getting to the point where you had to like, get the rest of the X-Men because really, it was getting a bit boring just being with him… and you would have to buy the bed sheets and Trapper Keeper to prove you were really committed…and honestly, it just became this great big hassle. And then there was the time Wolfy got all clingy and called up your house and pretended like he was calling your sister but you knew that he knew your sister was out and he was really hoping to get you instead?

Perhaps not. But my point is this. No matter how cool something is, if it’s too needy, a woman will get tired of it. Unless it’s a kid. No, even if it’s a kid.

Chick DNA is hardwired to want to be with the leader of the pack, and a guy that gives non-stop usually indicates we have to be the one leading - providing constant reassurance of love, of affection, of feelings…it’s too much.

So if you really want this girl to give you a chance, you gotta back off. Don’t talk about your feelings, don’t tell her you need her. Don’t even try to be friends right now. When she’s ready, she’ll seek you out. I mean, don’t be rude – just lay off. And then, perhaps, if you can just be cool, you two can stay friends until you find your very own Optimus Prime.








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