Fire and Ice

09/16/2009 14:50

There is a guy I like so much, but he doesn’t know me. I’ve fallen quite hard, but acting like I haven’t. He never replies to me or pays attention to me. So should I keep trying, or give up? -- Josie Jonas

 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear JJ:                                 

You know, I almost said something snarky, but I reread this four times and I realized that this is the same situation I was in with my husband! Yes, yes it was. So I worked at this video store and he would come in and I would immediately hide in the back because I was so shy and he intimidated me with his glory. And I would grill my coworkers after he left, peppering them with questions: did he ask about me? Did he look at me? Did he say anything at all about me? Are his eyes really blue? Do you think he noticed my new shirt? What did he rent so I can rent the same thing and pretend we're spending time together?

And they'd look at me like I was crazy and say HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO LOOK AT YOU OR TALK TO YOU WHEN ALL YOU DO IS HIDE WHEN HE COMES IN?

GOD! Anyway, I had my one friend who kind of knew him talk to him one Saturday and then I came around from behind the counter and stood there tracing lazy eights into the carpet with my sandal while shyly looking at my feet and we had a date the following week. 15 years later - history.

 Voila.

You have to let him know once and for all that you have it bad for him. Then you can see if/how he responds and if there's any future.           

  

                        

 

Dear JJ:

Remember the hunt!

In early teen years, boys are plain ol’ dumb. OK. So they’re not dumb. But they sure act like they are. One minute they show you affection; the next minute they’re ignoring you and making fart noises with their friends. As they get older, you’ll notice that they become more transparent. Sure, they may still make obscene gestures, but if they like you, they sure as hell show it. They’re on the prowl, and the peacock with the showiest feathers always wins.

So if you’re love is older than, say, 16, and he isn’t giving you the time of day, it’s best that you just keep on movin’. Now, if he’s younger...

See, when you’re talking young dudes, you’re talking a hot/cold situation. They’ve got no idea yet who they are, so they spend WAY too much time worried about being cool in front of their friends. And unfortunately, sometimes being cool means giving you the cold shoulder. But love at that age is like Yin and Yang - if you’re getting cold, you should also be getting hot. And if you’re not getting any heat from this guy, you should call off the hunt. I mean, it’s one thing if he actually has never met you. Then, I’d say go all in and see what comes out. But if you’ve hinted or talked or communicated and you’ve still got nothing, I say go find a boy who boils your blood AND gets hot for you too.                               

  

 

 

  

 

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