Double Trouble

09/22/2009 15:21

There are these twins. I fell in love with them ever since I met them. I fell in love with one in particular. Scott is this 19 year old kid, he's small but that’s one of the reasons why I love him. I’m short too. But anyways I've loved him so long that I looked up to him as an older brother and role model. He was the only one I could picture myself being with for the rest of my life. And Shane the other brother I think hates me and I don’t know why. What should I do about Shane? But my bigger question is should I tell them they mean a lot to me and that I love them., especially Scott. But I know that they wouldn’t care and wouldn’t take it serious. We are not really friends we just know each other. But they changed my life. So should I tell them or should I just keep my mouth shut and hold it in? -- Justin


 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear Justin:          

There's nothing wrong with telling friends that they've changed your life for the better and that you love them. You can always write them a note and that way they can keep it and pull it out to read whenever they're having a bad day.                                        








































Dear Justin:

But my, oh my, if we don’t have a Greek tragedy in the making here.

Your “not really” friend is someone you consider a role model? One twin likes you, the other hates you – a torn house in the making? You’re in love with someone you think of as an older brother? My god. Oedipus look out!

I think you’re mixing up feelings of idolization with love. Because to be honest, how can you be in love with someone you don’t even know? You see, being in love is by definition a reciprocal feeling…otherwise it’s really just stalking. So what I’m getting from what you’re saying is this: you think these brothers are awesome, and there’s one in particular, Scott, that you really “get.” You might even wish you were him. And this feeling, this awe, THIS you are mistaking for love. But it isn’t love. It’s you trying to fill through a relationship something you’re missing in yourself – some facet you wish you lived…some trait you wish you had.

I know what you’re feeling. There were these twins when I was a young lass (and no, I’m not making this up). They both were in the chorus, and my god did the world not stop when they sung. They were older, beautiful, happy creatures. They were at least 5 years older than me, yet I found myself constantly fantasizing about being with them both.  But as I got on, I realized it was their life I really wanted. The apparently oh so normal family that would cheer for them in the stands. The popularity they held. The bond that they shared. Being an isolated kid in a jacked up family, I felt like, if I could be with them, I could miraculously enter into the super fantastic world they lived in. I’d be pretty, wanted, loved.

Justin, you need to take a good look inside yourself and find out what about these dudes is making you want them in your life. And boy, you gotta look deep. Because when you find out what those traits are that is attracting you to them, you get to be that much closer to making yourself a more together whole. And then and only then will you be able to find true love.







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