Crock of Love

07/08/2010 12:03

A childhood friend of 30 years (and ex-boyfriend of 2 years from about 8 years ago) and I are friends on Facebook. I'm happily married, him not so much. I'm also friends with his wife on Facebook as well. They live across the country.

He's very artistic... his words don't always make perfect linear sense, but they sure are pretty. He's also known to be a bit of a drama queen. I am supporting him as a friend as he's going through some rough times emotionally. I'm pretty much the only person who 'gets' him. I truly care about him, and I do believe he is my soulmate, even if only on a true friendship level.

Yesterday he sent me an email that only read "I love you". In his crazy mind it could mean friendship, LOVE, or he's trying to create some drama.  I don't know how to respond without stirring the pot... I don't want to ignore it because I do truly love him as a brother, friend, etc. But I can't say it because that would be a betrayal to his wife and my husband, even if I only mean it in a familial way. He doesn't do things 'normally' as others do, so writing him point blank and asking what the hell means won't work. If he meant it on a silly friendly level, I'll only look like a fool. I was thinking I could just tell him I will always love him as a friend and leave it at that. Help? – Alicia 

 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear Alicia:

I’d ignore it.

It’s possible he wrote this when he was really, really drunk (or having a crazy artistic episode) and he’s hoping that he didn’t really do what he thinks he did and furthermore he’s hoping you won’t mention it.                











Dear Alicia:

Some people need advice. You don’t.  

You’re spot on with your thought. If you don’t respond, it’s weird. If you say you love him too without caveats, it’s weird. So tell him you love him too – he’s one of your bestest friends – that you can’t wait ‘til your and his kids get to play together while the four of you have dinner on the town… Anything that will curb unwanted advances while not sounding like you’re accusing him of wanting you. Because if he’s an artist, his heart is the first thing your rational mind should be appealing to.                              







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