Cheating is Only Fun in Vegas

06/10/2009 16:03

Hello SE ladies, I hope this finds you well.
I have been in a relationship with my lady for about a year. At one point I thought I had found the love of my life (I'm a 34 yr old divorcee). A lot has happened over that time good and bad .. a few things that could have easily been deal breakers (lies and infidelity); she is a budding actress/model and her career is really takiing off, for which I am very proud of her. The problem is that she travels a lot and meets a lot of celebs. She is the type to be starstruck, and just last weekend met a few in Miami. They spent the entire day and night together - they were staying in the same hotel and she didn't get back to her room until 6 am. I feel that she is changing. She is very secretive and acting very differently towards me. She is consumed with checking her mobile phone constantly... I know something is going on but I have not found the proper way to approach her. She gets extremely defensive when I mention anything about it. And I feel that all the talks of having a home and family together are not going to happen (initiated by her). Lately the only way we get along harmoniousley is when we don't speak about much at all. I used to feel close to her but now i feel a world away even when she is right next to me .. I am utterly confused. And I'm not sure which path to take - whether I should take a passive role or go with my gut and get to steppin'. The one problem is that we have been through so much and my feelings for her run deep so I'm not sure thowing it away is the right choice. -- GPP 

 What Mary Says...  What Crystal Says...

Dear In Love With The Wrong Girl:

She’s cheating. The signs are all there you just don’t want to face them.

Your life would be better spent with someone who has respect for you and your relationship. Run away screaming. Now!                                      

























Dear GPP:

There’s no need for you to throw the relationship away, because she already has.

Here’s the thing with women: their attraction to men is 90% mental and emotional, 10% looks. That’s why you see the fat guy, hot chick coupling (and no, it’s usually not money). If she’s not mentally and emotionally checked in to the relationship, that means there’s about 90% of her on the prowl for something else.

You might then be asking, why doesn’t she just leave? She’s still with me – that must mean something, right? I’m afraid not. Women almost always step out emotionally before physically taking leave. It’s a way of testing the waters; a litmus test to make sure they don’t abandon their comfort-zone and end up lonely. Because as much as they might hate being in a relationship, most women, no matter how beautiful or successful, would rather be in a shitty relationship than be alone. Does it suck? Absolutely. But it’s often times just the way it is.

I hate to say it, but it sounds like you’ve become the fall back plan – the safety net in the event the cool, new thing she’s drawn to doesn’t work out. And if you want to stick with her in the hopes that she’ll realize you’re the right guy, then go ahead. Who knows, stranger things have happened. But because a woman’s heart and mind are irrevocably married, when a woman loses her mental union with you (regardless of the reason), you’d have an easier time parting the Red Sea then to get her re-connected.



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